Recent content by colza888

Halloween Flashers..:D :D :D

Q. If you see a Glaswegian on a bicycle,why should you never swerve to hit him? A. It's probably your bicycle Q. What do you call a Glaswegian in a suit? A. The accused Q. Why does the River Clyde run through Glasgow? A. Because if it walked it would be mugged Q. What do you call a...

Baked Beans Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she...

Death of a Cardiologist A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the...

A kid gets a job in a small department store. On his first day, the manager shows him around, and explains that the company policy was to sell a product, with a product. The kid looked confused...so the manager said he would show him what he meant. Now, it just so happened that a customer...

A man appeared before the pearly gates. St. Peter asked, "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" The man said, "I can think of one thing. Once I came upon a gang of hells angels who were threatening a young woman. I told them to leave her alone but they wouldn't listen, so I...

As a trucker in Essex (UK) stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load". The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the...

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way...

I'm have some Sync Problems when using CM's DVD to SVCD tut, Sometimes either the first disc is out of sync and the second is fine or first is ok and the other is out of sync" I'm using all the software stated in CM's tut, is there anyway to solve this problem. Ps. I'm burning them with...

What is the best defrag Software for use on a Win 95 Platform.

Hi Chickenman, I followed your Tutorial for DVD to SVCD with excellent results, however I have one problem, recently I ripped the movie Carlito's Way (Widescreen) with great results but I get a Black Border at the bottom of the screen with the Cinema Craft Encoder...

Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf and one remarked how for Christmas this year he'd love to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round. His buddies chimed in and said, "Let's do it...

If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have about $16.50 of the original $1,000.00. With Worldcom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year...

A bin man is going along a street picking up the wheely bins and emptying them into his dustbin lorry. He gets to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, so he has a quick look for it. He goes round the back of the house but still can't see it so he knocks on the door. There's no...

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg gets invited to a fancy-dress party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg,so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note. 'Dear Sir, please find enclosed a...