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> > YESTERDAY > > > > Yesterday, > > All those backups seemed a waste of pay > > Now my database has gone away > > Oh I believe in yesterday... > > Suddenly, > > There's not half the files there used to be > > And there's a milestone hanging over me > > The system crashed so suddenly > > I...

> > A psychology student decides to have a party and invites lots of > > people, telling them to bring their friends. On the invitation > >hewrites...... > > > >"Theme Party - Come as a Human Emotion". > > > >On the night of the party, the first guest arrives and he opens the door to >...

A lady dies and goes to heaven. She arrives at the pearly gates and is greeted by Saint Peter. There are a few people waiting, so she strikes up a conversation with them. Just then, she hears a blood curdling scream! "What was that," she asks. "Oh, don't worry about that," says Saint Peter...

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the...

This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go into town, tease the barmaids and party with his old buddies, so he says to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..." "Where are you going coochy cooh...?", asked the wife. "I'm...

h##p://riddleme.com/html/cow.html i suppose you would gie this to a cow with it all lol

Ralph decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop. After looking around, he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. Ralph says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?" "I was born this way," says the parrot, "I'm a...

A man walks up to the bartender and says, "I bet you $100 dollars that I can stand on your bar and leak into a jar without spilling a drop." The bartender laughs and tells him that is it such an impossible bet, he'll take it. So the man stands up on the bar, and cheering to his friends in the...

Four men got together to play golf one sunny morning. As they were heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a phone call. The other three were discussing their children while walking to the first tee. "My son," said one proudly, "has made quite a name for himself in the home...

0---WANTED 1---A tall well-built woman with good 2---reputation, who can cook frogs 3---legs, who appreciates a good fuc- 4---schia garden, classic music and tal- 5---king without getting too serious. 6---Nah seriously, please only read lines 1,3 and 5. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...

> > >Man: Haven't I seen you some place before? >Woman: Yes that's why I don't go there any more. >Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut. > >Man: Is this seat empty? >Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. >Man: There's no need to get on your...

A woman goes to her boyfriends' parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The...

This is very upsetting for guys. Research scientists at Guinness suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption after considering the results of a recent analysis, which had revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn...

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when Dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how It works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points...

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. After you, my love, my only prize Would be a bullet between my eyes Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide...

nd this is what i did at the rock farm there

I was driving to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pick-up truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman 'the bird' I thought to...

Jim decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. *She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at maturity of a 12 year old. *He stated that it was OK because he loved her soooo much. However, Jim...

After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on Earth, St.Peter now stood before his boss ready to present his findings. "Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?" God asked. "I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but the people are behaving in a sinful...

Dear Help Desk, Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which I'd used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To...